This week we got 7 peppers in our CSA box - two red bell peppers, one green bell pepper, one jalapeno, and three long red peppers. I am not an expert on peppers but I believe the three long red peppers may be poblanos - they are not too hot, but spicier than a bell pepper. It's cool tonight - we are supposed to have a low in the 50s - a perfect night for baked peppers stuffed with one of my favorite standbys, black beans.
I really love black beans and my family probably eats them once a week. I usually make them into quesadillas with whatever else I have on hand. I could definitely eat black bean quesadillas at least once a week, or more, but Brian is not quite so enthusiastic about them. I'm sure he will be happy to see that the vehicle for black bean delivery this week is a stuffed pepper.
I don't like things really spicy, but you can definitely make this much spicier by adding a chopped hot pepper to the sautee, adding chili powder to the black beans, or by seasoning the rice and black bean mixture with some hot sauce.
black bean stuffed peppers
Two large poblano peppers
1 small red onion, minced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 cup cooked rice
1 cup cooked and rinsed black beans
1 - 2 teaspoons cumin
1 1/4 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
salt
freshly ground black pepper
olive oil
Preheat the oven to 450. Cut the top off of each pepper, and carefully slice in half lengthwise. Remove ribs and seeds. Place peppers with cavities up in glass baking dish. Remove stems from trimmed tops and finely chop. Heat about a tablespoon of the oil over medium heat. Add the onion, garlic, and chopped peppers and season with salt and pepper. Sautee for about 5 minutes, until soft and fragrant. Add the black beans and a few tablespoons water. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and add 1 - 2 teaspoons of cumin. Bring to a boil, lower heat, and simmer until beans are hot and most of the water has evaporated.
Add the cooked rice and 1 cup of the shredded cheese to the black bean mixture and stir well. Fill cavity of each pepper with rice and bean mixture. Cover with aluminum foil and bake about 25 minutes, or until peppers are tender. Remove foil, sprinkle with remaining 1/4 cup cheddar cheese, and bake for another 5 minutes or so, until the cheese is melted and beginning to brown. Serve with your favorite sides - I served tonight's peppers with tortilla chips and some garlic-lemon guacamole.
Tonight I saw a rainbow over our neighborhood. I took Dora out for a stroll after dinner, enjoying a cool breeze even though the sun still feels hot - a first tiny glimpse of fall. We went down the steep hill by our house, then slowly ambled back up towards Haywood Road. We were under a beautiful blue sky with huge white clouds, and in the distance was a cloudburst, just enough to create a beautiful rainbow at the top of the hill.
We took a break halfway through our walk at one of my favorite places in West Asheville, Two Spoons. I really love this place, and if they had a website I'd be giving you a link right now, but you just have to trust me that it's really fantastic. They serve Ultimate Ice Cream, handmade in Asheville, and they are located within walking distance of my house. You can't go wrong. They have a mini waffle cone with a kid-sized scoop for 2.70 called the Hot Mama, and that's what I always get, usually with coconut ice cream. Tonight, it was Very Cherry. Oh yeah.
Now, before you go thinking that all I ever feed my kid is ice cream, popsicles, and cake (which would be only natural to think since nearly all the photos of her I've used in this blog show her eating sweets), I just want to point out that I go to Two Spoons for a higher purpose than just indulging my favorite vice. I go there to support local business! I know, I know - the whole locavore thing is probably getting old for some people, but I really love following that philosophy, and I really love the idea of supporting someone else's dream. I mean, I know I support Ben and Jerry's dream when I eat their ice cream (which I also do quite regularly), but I actually know one of the women involved in the Two Spoons venture - and not just because I'm in there all the time. So I feel like my 2.70 is buying me something great, but it's also my little contribution to another regular gal's wishing well.
Strolling home in the sunshine, I thought about a phone conversation I had last night with one of my absolute best friends in the entire world. We were talking about wishing wells of our own - business ideas and creative ventures we both hope to pursue someday. It was so great to share ideas, and to wistfully imagine what it would be like to co-own some artsy little joint, with local photographs, muffins we bake ourselves, and a kitty in the window. If only we didn't live 700 miles apart.
OK, so maybe it is a little wishing-wellish to be talking about quitting our jobs to own our own businesses. I readily admit that owning your own business is overly romanticized, and from experiencing the ups and downs of it with my husband I can say from experience that it is definitely not easy. But, really, how absolutely fabulous would it be to get up in the morning, give my husband and baby a kiss goodbye, and start my morning commute walking down Haywood Road with a cup of coffee in my hand? (I don't drink coffee - can't handle the caffeine - but it goes so well with my little imaginary world I have to include it). Imagine - opening up the door of my shop - maybe the door's painted a nice bright red - turning around the sign in the window to "OPEN", pulling up the shades to let in the morning light. Hear the kitty purring in the window? Smell those oatmeal blueberry muffins I just set out? Perhaps my shop would have some handknits, some yarn and knitting supplies, a few books, photographs, hand-lettered cards, and whatever other artsy things I and my friends come up with. Oh, and of course, a collection of CDs by Brian and our other musical friends. On slow days maybe I'll sit at my laptop writing my blog - or my book!
It's such a perfectly sweet scene it's like something out of a movie - like the Shop Around the Corner only less annoying, or the bookstore in Notting Hill, only I'm the manager instead of Hugh Grant (sorry girls). I realize this is a little on the unrealistic side, but I also really, really love the fact that I'm still letting myself go there with a little glimmer of hope that I'll someday make it reality. I at least want to try something like this someday. And if I do, and if on the slow days I'm here on Nina writing something about missing my old office job, you can all kick me in the pants.
I know all about the grass and how green it can be on the other side, but I really think my little pipe dreams and those of my friends are more than just that. Here's to hoping we all get the chance to find out.
A few weeks ago our CSA box contained 14 cucumbers and I promised to post a few recipes for cucumbers.
While taking a walk this evening, I felt a distinct hint of fall in the air and thought, "I better post those cucumber recipes". Here are two ways to use 14 cucumbers, both adapted from Martha Stewart Food.
Quick Pickles
8 cups thinly sliced cucumbers
2 medium Vidalia onions, thinly sliced
3 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups cider vinegar
2 teaspoons celery seed
2 teaspoons mustard seed
coarse salt
In a colander, toss cucumber and onion with 1 1/2 teaspoons salt. Set aside to drain for 30 minutes. In a medium bowl, combine sugar, vinegar, celery seed, and mustard seed. Stir until sugar dissolves. Divide cucumber and onion mixture into clean jars, pour vinegar mixture over cucumbers. Refrigerate overnight. Pickles keep about 2 weeks in the fridge.
Sour Cream and Dill Cucumbers
1/4 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon lemon juice or cider vinegar
2 cups sliced cucumbers
chopped fresh dill
salt
pepper
Stir together sour cream and lemon juice or vinegar. Season to taste with dill, salt, and pepper. Toss with cucumbers.
Serve with spicy lentil veggie burgers and sliced fresh tomato. Or, top with roasted, sliced beets. Easy and delicious!
One of the reasons I started this blog is because I have felt, for quite some time, like a part of the essence of who I am has been stifled and buried by my work. My current job, though satisfying in many ways, does not allow much in the way of creative expression. We all have days in which our work is not what we think we want, and on those kinds of days I think about the things I wish I was doing - knitting, writing, taking pictures, baking, or just spending time with my family.
Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I've had a number of "mini-careers" in my life. If you count high school and college jobs, I've gone from food service to catering to taxidermy to veterinary medicine to photography to law to geography to planning. Whew! I've attributed all of this jumping around to having a lot of interests, and I try to see it in a positive light. And I'm trying to accept that seeing this attribute of myself in a positive light is something I'm going to struggle with - maybe forever. Even though I think it's fair to say I've had success in several of these "mini-careers", sometimes my inability to identify my one chosen career leaves me feeling like more failure than success.
So much of who we are is tied up in our profession, or at least it seems that way when we meet someone new. What's the first thing we ask when meeting a new person? Usually - what do you do? It's been interesting being married to a musician and having so many people assume I am also a professional musician. Someday I might just start saying yes and see how quickly I get hired for a gig.
While we were on vacation I had the opportunity to reunite with some old friends who I studied abroad with in undergrad. We attended the Scotland Field School in Documentary Photojournalism at Ohio University. It was probably one of the best experiences of my life, even though many of the memories have dimmed due to the years that have passed, and due to the amount of alcohol consumed while in Scotland.
It was pretty wonderful to see that these friends of mine hadn't changed in the years since we'd seen each other last, and in many ways it was like returning to a comfortable, cozy, familiar chair to be chatting with them again. Both of these friends of mine now work in the field of photojournalism, both using the degrees we worked on together which, for me, has now been relegated to primarily hobby status.
Driving away from the restaurant, I felt a profound sense of sadness about what could have been for Carrie the photojournalist. I have had this feeling before - one of my very closest friends is a successful photojournalist. I have watched her career blossom from our time together as interns, when we were equals, to where we are now - her perfecting her vision as I toil away in my office, staring at a computer writing plans and answering emails, while I fear my good photographic eye will be lost due to neglect. I am nothing if not happy for these friends of mine and their success. But a part of me grieves the fact that my photojournalistic eye sits patiently in the corner of the room, hoping for a reprise even as I fear that my ability to catch up with the changes in technology might preclude me from returning to the field. Of course, technological challenges aside, there are many other things which preclude my return to the field - years with no photo experience, lack of jobs, poor pay, instability of the field of photojournalism.
There are people who say "I can't believe I get paid to do this". Is this not the most annoying expression on the planet? Perhaps people really do feel this way. I think if I am honest with myself, I might discover that no matter what I do for work, I may never be able to say that with any truthfulness. I want to love what I do - but I want to also get paid well for what I do, and I want to feel like I make a difference, and not be in a position of having to stifle my political views, and work good hours, and not get exposed to workplace hazards, etc. etc. etc. My specifics go on and on, to the point that I'm not sure any career would really satisfy me.
So, how do I answer this conundrum? What am I really meant to do with my life? I remember once visiting my pastor when I was in college, struggling with a feeling of "not fitting in" because all of my close girlfriends were joining sororities and expressing their school spirit while I wished that school would just be over. She pointed out that maybe my best days, the pinnacle of my experience, were still ahead of me. Perhaps college wasn't going to be this all encompassing, wear-your-colors-with-pride kind of experience for me. And I revisit that advice now and wonder if, perhaps, as much as I would like it to be, my career isn't going to be my pinnacle either. Perhaps my pinnacle is that I get to have a good marriage, a beautiful angel of a baby who melts my heart every day, friends who mean the absolute world to me, a family I love, a home I feel comfortable in (most days, when it's sort of clean), meaningful projects I work on in my spare time, a church that I call home and where I feel loved.
I don't know if this is the answer. I do know I'll probably always be searching for who "I" am, what the right field is for me. I am not going to be a one act show - and that is not to say that one act shows are bad, it is just to say that I am not going to have one act, because I don't have a long enough attention span to fit all of my drama into one act. And I don't know when the next act starts, or what it's going to be, but in the meantime I'll keep trying to love it all, keep trying to write it down, keep on keeping on. And I promise, old friends, to try to only enjoy your company, and not let your success take control of my internal spotlight and shine it too brightly on what could have been. Instead, let's just have a nice meal together, look the other way when my daughter refuses all food except butter packets, and laugh at how we've changed so much and also not at all.
Our week of vacation on Folly Beach has ended and we have returned to reality - bills, work, pet care, schedules.
It was a wonderful week, and it's always sad when vacation ends. Although there are some things about being home that I am not thrilled about - you can probably guess what they are - it is SO good to be back in my kitchen. I do not, by any means, have a fancy kitchen, but I do have a few choice implements that I just can't live without. I also have a few things that I wouldn't consider to be luxuries in any way but which were missing from our cute, cozy, yet somewhat unequipped cottage. It's nice to be home where I have things like measuring spoons, a skillet larger than 6 inches, baking dishes, knives that haven't been used for whittling, and mixing bowls of various sizes.
In spite of the ill-equipped kitchen, we did enjoy some great fresh seafood dinners at home. We found a fresh seafood market - an absolute requirement at the beach - and visited it every day, except the one day we went out to dinner. Our vacation menu included:
- flounder fillets poached in a white wine, butter, and garlic sauce, with sauteed zucchini and squash and corn on the cob
- seared scallops over fresh corn pudding with tomato avocado salsa and roasted tomatillo sauce
- shrimp with garlic, lemon, and parsley
- crab cakes with garlic lemon green beans and balsamic roasted eggplant
- mussels with fresh tomato, onion, and parsley
I was unable to photograph many of these meals - in some cases because I just forgot, or Dora was being extra-needy, or the lighting was just too bad to do it. But, I did manage to get a shot of the best meal I made - not one of my originals, but adapted from a recipe I heard on one of my favorite shows, KCRW's Good Food.
seared scallops over fresh corn pudding with tomato avocado salsa and roasted tomatillo sauce Note: This recipe came from KCRW's Good Food. The original recipe came from chef DJ Olsen, which he adapted from a recipe by Robert Del Grande. I made a few changes to use what I had on-hand, and to serve 2 and a half people. 
roasted tomatillo sauce
3 - 4 tomatillos, peeled, rinsed, and stemmed
1 onion, peeled and quartered
1 jalapeno pepper, stemmed, seeded, and quartered
several cloves garlic
fresh lime juice
sugar
Toss ingredients on a rimmed baking sheet and roast in 450 degree oven until charred. Puree in blender, adding fresh lime juice and sugar to taste.
tomato avocado salsa
1 large tomato, diced
1 avocado, peeled, pitted, and cubed
1 vidalia onion, finely chopped
fresh lime juice
salt
pepper
Combine tomato, avocado, and onion. Season to taste with lime juice, salt, and pepper and let sit at room temperature for 15 minutes before using.
fresh corn pudding
2 cups milk
1/2 cup corn meal
3 ears fresh corn, grated on a box grater
salt to taste
Bring the milk almost to a boil in a medium sauce pan. Whisk in corn meal and cook until thickened, 3 - 4 minutes. Stir in corn and any juices accumulated when grating. Cook an additional 2 - 3 minutes. Season to taste with salt.
seared scallops
8 - 10 fresh sea scallops
olive oil
salt
pepper
Season scallops with salt and pepper. Heat olive oil over high heat in medium skillet. Add scallops and sear on one side for 3 - 4 minutes. Turn over, turn off heat, and let sear on second side for an additional 3 minutes or until cooked through.
To serve, place a large dollop of corn pudding on each plate, top with a few spoonfuls of the salsa, and surround with several scallops drizzled with tomatillo sauce. Add a crisp white wine, and follow with a walk on the beach.
The next morning, you will feel so wonderful you'll be able to get up in time to see the sun rise over the ocean.
I'm sitting on a screened porch in Folly Beach, SC, listening to cicadas chirping in the trees, looking out at a gorgeous old Live Oak rustling in the breeze. It's South Carolina hot here - 90s and humid - but the porch is lovely. Inside our little beach cottage, my husband and baby are napping, along with the dogs. The solitude is blissful. I can't see the ocean - I'm not even sure I can hear it - but I can smell it. This, along with the mortgage, bills, and student loan repayments, is what I work for - vacation.
I grew up going to the beach for vacation. My family was solidly middle class, and I suspect that there were years when it was difficult financially for us to make the trip, but every year we did. It was a commitment my parents made to each other, and to us, I guess, and it became a family tradition that I loved. There is just something about being by the water that feels like home to me, like rediscovering a piece of myself that has been missing. Perhaps its because I'm a Scorpio, a water sign, or maybe everyone feels this way. But that first breath of ocean breeze as I step over the dunes feels like a reunion, like breathing air that I've always been meant to breathe.
It's not just the air at the beach that I love. I love the way my skin feels - cleaner, smoother, younger. I love the way I smell after being at the beach - the way my clothes smell, even. I love days devoted almost entirely to elemental, basic needs - physical activity, breathing and walking and swimming, eating, drinking, and sleeping. I love getting a tan. I know it is unhealthy, but I absolutely love it, and being in the sun is the only way to do it (in my opinion). I love sneaking out of the house when everyone else is asleep to watch the sunrise over the water. I love walking on the beach in the evenings, when the sand is cool and the sun is going down.
As a child, another part of why I loved those beach vacations is that it was an opportunity for me to spend time with my dad, who worked full-time and with whom I never felt I had enough time. Each year, I knew I had that one week when I had my whole family to myself to just focus on each other - play, eat, sleep, read. We were not allowed to watch TV at all - just on the last day while we packed. What a great tradition. As an adult, I still loved those beach trips, and probably my favorite one ever was the first year my husband came along, when we were still dating. We stayed in one of the nicest houses we'd ever been in, our dog came with us, the weather was great, and Brian had a blast. I could see he was going to fit perfectly into our family, and everything was right with the world.
Now that my mother is gone, that beach tradition for my family, at least in the way it was when she was living, is gone, too. We've been back to the same place a few times, but it's not the same. I was there in April for work, and although I love that place like a childhood home, I also felt horrible being there. So, we are working on our own family traditions now. We've been to the Charleston area a few times, and this is our second family vacation here. We do some of the things we did with my family - hitting the beach, biking, fresh seafood made at home - and we're doing some new things, too - boat rides, visiting the historic areas downtown, seeking out parks and playgrounds for Dora. Most of all, we are spending some much-needed time together, just being a family, reminding ourselves why we love each other, giving our daughter the feeling of complete and total love she gets when her parents are together.
It's kind of like being at the beach allows us to reconnect with everything we need - all the pieces of ourselves that get lost in the everyday world. It's the water and the air, the sun and the sand, but it's more - the time to be together, the time to reflect on the past, the time to think ahead to the future - it's like that big expanse of sky, water, and sand gives us the space we really need to rediscover all those things, and each other. It's like being made whole, being healed, and being reunited all at once. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to experience that, and to give that experience to Dora. We almost didn't make it this year - we both felt like perhaps we couldn't afford it. And, maybe we couldn't, but I also think we couldn't afford NOT to come, not to give ourselves the time to reconnect in this way.
So, this week, I will breathe it all in - the Live Oak rustling in the breeze, the dogs slashing in the surf, the cool evening sand in my toes, Dora smiling at us, the screened porch with the turquoise floor, the fresh seafood, the salt air. Mmm - it smells so, so good.
It's definitely full-on summer now - the crepe myrtle in the front yard is blooming, the purple coneflower are tall and leggy, and little Isadora turns two tomorrow. The impossibility of that aside, another sign of summer's vintage is the appearance of large and/or extreme produce. Big tomatoes, huge basil plants, and, of course, giant zucchini. A friend gave me this giant zucchini when I was home in Ohio, and when Brian brought our CSA box home this week, we were shocked to learn that it contained FOURTEEN cucumbers! What in the world, you may ask, do you do with 14 cucumbers? I'll be answering that question in a few days, so stay tuned.
One of the reasons I received the giant zucchini was for making two birthday cakes for the joint birthday bash we held on Sunday afternoon for Brian and Dora. Although the rain absolutely poured down all morning, the clouds miraculously parted mid-afternoon and we had beautiful weather. The party was a total success, with many naked children joyfully running around the backyard, friends sharing wonderful food and the bounty of summer, and all of us enjoying some great jazz provided by Frank Southecorvo and Bill Gerhardt. The cakes were a hit, too, so here are the recipes for you to try the next time you end up with a giant zucchini.
Zucchini Walnut Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting
adapted from Betty Crocker's New Cookbook
Note: I find Betty Crocker's New Cookbook to be a great starting point for traditional baked goods, although I've found and enjoyed many other dessert and baking cookbooks. I always adapt the Betty Crocker recipes, however, by lowering the amount of sugar, using high-quality ingredients, and replacing about half of the flour with whole wheat flour.
Cake:
1 cup sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
1 cup minus 1 Tablespoon whole wheat flour
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
3 cups shredded zucchini
1 cup coarsley chopped walnuts
Heat oven to 350. Grease and lightly flour 13 x 9 x 2 inch pan (or two round cake pans).
Mix sugar, oil, and eggs in large bowl until blended. Beat in vanilla. In a medium bowl, stir together dry ingredients. Gradually add dry ingredients to large bowl and mix until blended. Stir in zucchini and walnuts. Pour into pan. Bake for about 40 - 45 minutes (30 - 35 minutes in round pans), or until a knife inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting.
Frosting:
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, room temperature
1/4 cup butter, room temperature
seeds from 1 vanilla bean (split and seeds removed with a sharp knife)
3 - 4 cups powdered sugar
Beat cream cheese and butter with electric mixer until smooth. Add vanilla bean seeds and mix until combined. With mixer on low, gradually add powdered sugar to taste.
Chocolate Zucchini Cake with Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting
Cake adapted from recipe given to me by Candida and Cecilia Rinaldi; frosting adapted from Betty Crocker's New Cookbook
Cake:
1 1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
2 large eggs
1/2 cup sour cream
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 cup minus 1 Tablespoon whole wheat flour
4 Tablespoons cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cloves
2 cups shredded zucchini
1/2 cup chocolate chips
Heat oven to 325. Oil a 9 x 13 x 2 inch pan and lightly coat with cocoa powder. Cream sugar, butter, and vegetable oil. Add eggs and sour cream and beat well. Sift together dry ingredients and gradually add to wet ingredients. Mix until combined and stir in zucchini. Stir in chocolate chips. Bake for 40 - 45 minutes or until a knife inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting.
Frosting:
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, room temperature
1/4 cup butter, room temperature
2 ounces unsweetened baking chocolate, melted and cooled
3 - 4 cups powdered sugar
Beat cream cheese and butter with electric mixer until smooth. Add melted chocolate and mix until combined. With mixer on low, gradually add powdered sugar to taste. 
Cut both cakes into squares and feed to wildly happy naked children in your backyard. Enjoy!
